Tired Old Retreads

After 2 more dates, I've finally come to the conclusion that J and I are just not a match. He's great; he's nice; he's super cute too, but something is just not quite there, for either of us, I think. So, that's that. I'm sure I will still keep in touch with him, because I like him just fine. He's just not boyfriend material and that's ok.

I'm thinking about giving my internet dating profile a rest for a while. It seems that after almost 6 months at it I'm beginning to scrape the bottom of the barrel. All I'm getting is tired, old retreads who I wasn't interested in in the first place. Or the ickiest of ickys that I would never be interested in to begin with.

Some of the retreads? Marko3. He's the guy who sent me an angry text message because I never called him back. (I really wish I would've saved the text so I could quote it here. It said something to the effect of "if [I] had a problem with [him]... [I] should've confronted it in person, rather than just not calling back." Seriously. I don't know you well enough to confront anything in person. I have a hard time confronting people I know in person, much less random internet guys.) A couple of weeks ago I get an email from Marko3 saying, "I was wondering if you were still interested. I know I tried calling you a couple of times, but never heard back. Let me know..." Huh. I wonder why you never heard anything back, Marko3?

Retread number 2? LunchTodayOK! Now I know I sent this guy a polite thanks, but no thanks, email when he was operating under some equally creepy screen name. I think I may have even blocked him. He caught me off guard with the new name. But there is no chance in hell for Mr. LunchTodayOK. He's just too smarmy looking. And sends emails that say nothing more than "You are beautiful!" Which is a nice sentiment, coming from the right person, but coming from him? Ick. If you could just see his pictures, you'd know what I'm talking about. All I can say is he's a blonde with a bad combover who thinks he's all "hip" and "happening". And he wears his Chargers' jersey tucked into his khaki shorts. Ew.

Another retread? Listo. I have nothing snarky or mean to say about Listo. He seems nice enough in his profile. Well educated, well traveled. I wasn't interested a few months ago, and for some reason, I'm still not interested. I feel kind of bad. Listo never did anything to me. Ah, well.

Ickys? The previously mentioned Chas. Who emailed me like 3 times with no response from me. The last email said "I guess you didn't like my profile." I'm sorry, Chas, but no I didn't. And your sad sack of a final email did not help your cause. (Can you tell I'm sick and grumpy?) Truth be told I did not like Chas' eyebrows. Shallow? Perhaps, but I am not waking up every morning to caterpillars crawling across my beloved's forehead. Plus! Chas? Blech. I do not like that name.

Also, icky? PBEmerald. I think he might be a little bit retarded. I'm serious. A little background here. I loved the whole 25 Things on Facebook so much that I modified mine and used it for my profile on the dating site. It got a good response for a while. Until I got this email from PBEmerald,

"I too like lists, however I prefer the bulleted kind over the numbered. I purposely avoid them here as I think they seem to structured and direct.

On your artistic talent, have you tried interpretive dance? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that the addition of the word 'interpretive' means it can come out any way you want and it's still art.

What do homeless people yell at you?

Lastly, you can change a lot of things about yourself, but your height is not one of them. Sorry to break it to you.

Check out my profile and let's correspond."

I'm trying to give PBEmerald the benefit of the doubt, and assume he thinks he is funny. But aside from the interpretive dance bit, none of that was funny. Some of it just came across as stiff and very formal. "I do not like numbered lists as they are too direct." Yes, sir.

So, I think for now I'm over the whole internet thing. I think I'm going to take some time off and either go back in a couple of months or not. Perhaps in the mean time I will meet my next love the old fashioned way... Drunk, in a bar.