Intuition

I am pissed. Oh, hello internet. I'm Moo. Nice to meet you. I found out something last night that really pissed me off. I've decided to channel my anger into creativity. Tah dah! A blog. About dating. Really? Yes, really.

It all started on Facebook. Facebook is great. Old friends catching up with each other. New friends getting to know one another. But Facebook has a dark side. Facebook can turn even the most sane of us into virtual stalkers. Reading friends of friends comments. Looking at friends of friends photos. Facebook stalking can lead you to finding out things you never really wanted to know. Last night I found out my ex-boyfriend, whom I always suspected of cheating, did, in fact, cheat on me. We broke up over a year ago, so this should be a non issue, but still ugh. I may have cried. Just a little.

First thing I did? Called my bff.

N said I should bust him. Send the new girlfriend an email alerting her that when she started dating him he was still with me. Begging me not to leave him. Telling me I was the only girl he never cheated on! (Um, really? I don't know that that's something to brag about. And! It wasn't even true.) But, whatever, it's not her fault. And I hate confrontation. And serves her right.

So, here I am. Writing about it. Online.

My friend L said I should confront him. Right. Remember me? I hate confrontation. And what good would it do me, really? There's no consequence in me confronting him now.

So, again, here I am. Writing about it. Online.

I guess the lesson in all of this for me is to trust my intuition. So many times in the 3 years I dated M I suspected he was cheating on me. For Pete's sake, he cheated on his previous girlfriend with me. (I know, I'm a horrible person.) At one point I even found a picture of him with another girl which appeared to have been taken recently. I caught him in lie after lie, and still I stayed. Even though I knew in my gut that he was a cheater, I tried to ignore it.

At a certain point I remember thinking that it was better to be in this bad relationship, constantly suspicious and unhappy, than to be single. I reasoned that it was more important to have bad companionship than no companionship at all. And then it hit me. I remember asking myself one day, "If I were to walk out of my house right now and get mowed down by a runaway bus, would I be able to look back on my life and say that I had been happy?" And the answer was a resounding no. So I dumped him. The next day. Over the phone. Ha. Best thing I ever did. I've been happier in the last year than I ever thought I could be. And now? I listen to my gut.