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My good friend L offered a sympathetic ear over the weekend, as I threw myself around like a spoiled child wailing, "Why doesn't he like me????" (Perhaps a slight exaggeration.) When I had finally calmed down and was able to listen to rational advice (which might have not been until Monday afternoon) L said to me, "I know you. You will totally go out with him again. If that's the case, you need to let him know it's not ok to blow you off like that. Maybe you should send him an email?"
"But what should I say?" I whined. (This should surprise no one. I tend to whine.) Also, I'm lazy or really can't think straight when I'm upset or considering confronting someone with something unpleasant. So L pretty much wrote the email for me.
It went something like this: "Fluffy, fluffy pleasantness, something about what did you do last night, blah, blah, blah... Maybe we got our signals crossed or I misunderstood, but I thought we talked about doing something this weekend? I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything, I just want to see if it's early onset dementia. I did just turn 36 recently, so dementia is not out of the question."
And I sent it. I even got a reply right away! Which went something like this: "Yeah, we did talk about that. But I sent you an email on Friday letting you know I had Saturday free and you responded saying you were looking forward to a relaxing weekend, so I took it as you were just going to take it easy. I guess our communication wasn't so good. We definitely need to make it up though..."For the record, I never did receive the email he is speaking of. I did at some point on Friday email him that I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend, but I certainly didn't mean I didn't want to go out with him. So, yeah, communication was a big FAIL on both of our parts.This is why email, text, IM, etc. are all really crappy methods of communication. Especially when you are just getting to know each other. I'm totally guilty though, because there are times when I would so much rather email or text someone rather than call them. But emails get lost. Tone is misunderstood. Texts have character limits (and I am chatty).
Obviously, I could have saved myself (and you all) a whole lot of misery and "boys are stupid" and all that if I had just said what I meant in my email to J on Friday. Which was "So, are we going out or what?" And he could have saved us all a whole lot of misery and "boys are stupid" and all that if he had just picked up the phone. Lesson learned.
I spoke with J tonight. (On the phone!) We have plans for later this week. Not sure what night yet, but we have plans.
P.S. L also said something really simple today that I'm going to try to remember in all of my relationships. Stop jumping to conclusions and communicate when something isn't sitting right. Simple, right? But not always easy to remember.
This will be brief. Look at the time stamp on this. Yes, it's correct. What am I doing up so early, you ask? I've been up since 4:00 am, thanks to Earl.
My sweet boy, (yeah, right) Earl did everything he could to not let me sleep last night. Running around? Check. Playing in the closet? Check. Climbing all over me? Check. And last, but not least, for his grand finale, scratching at K's bathroom door so loud I could hear it from my bedroom? CHECK!
What is Earl doing now that I've given up? Sleeping quietly on the counter.
I swear it's a conspiracy.
Still have not heard a peep from J. Whatever. I am a very busy girl and I cannot be bothered with stupid boys.
However, today, if it were appropriate to be completely honest with my Facebook status updates, here's what you would have read.
8:04 am- Moo woke up and checked her phone. Still nothing.
8:34 am- Moo wonders "Is it mean to de-friend someone you just friended?" Yes, J, I'm looking at you.
12:37 pm- Moo is at the gym wondering why boys are so very stupid.
2:13 pm- Moo is again checking her cell phone and is tempted to call the operator and ask them to call to check the line.
3:13 pm- Moo is now online again looking for a new boy. (Yes, Chas [blech, what the hell kind of name is that?] I got your first email. No, I will not be responding. Perhaps you have not read my Rules for Internet Dating?)
4:52 pm- Moo gives up. Is now planning on spending the evening in her pajamas watching an America's Next Top Model Marathon on Bravo.
I'm kind of crabby today. It's been 4 days since my date with J, and I've barely heard from him. I say barely because we spoke on Tuesday (he called me, then I called him back later), and he's emailed me a couple of times (about Facebook for God's sake), but hasn't made contact since I replied to an email of his this morning.
I rue the day I ever told him about Facebook. I'm on there throughout the day at work (I know, but they don't seem to mind) and every time I saw that he was online (And not emailing me! The nerve!) it was like a slap in the face.
When we spoke on Tuesday, we had tentatively made plans for this weekend. J wasn't sure which night he would have his daughter and I said Saturday would work better for me. Since then? Nothing. Except for stupid questions about Facebook. Lame.
What is it about a guy that can turn a relatively well-adjusted girl like myself into a compulsive cell phone/Facebook/email checker? Seriously! When I don't have a man in my life I'm totally fine. I don't worry about who's calling, who's emailing, blah, blah, blah. Throw a guy into the mix? And I'm all "Why isn't he calling? Where is he? Is he out with Tragic B?" Ugh.
And I can't help but second guess myself. You know? I think about the "number" conversation we had the other night and wonder "Did that turn him off?" Or how I told him that I had a date on Wednesday night, but I wasn't too interested in going. (Which, by the way, I didn't mean it in a "You are the love of my life now, J. I shall never date another." kind of way. I meant it in a "It's freaking Wednesday, who wants to go out with a guy, who quite frankly, looks kind of sweaty in his photos?" kind of way.) But of course, I think J took it to be the former. Plus! The guy who looked kind of sweaty in his photos? Never even called me for our date. How's that for karma?
So here I sit, on a Friday night, trying to decide between cleaning my house (thrilling!) or catching up on my reading (slightly more thrilling!). Wondering why it is I can't seem to make it past that increasingly crucial second date. What the hell?
P.S. I think the cleaning is going to win out. That way I can blast angry music and scrub out my aggression. Hee hee.
