Who Does That?

Oh, do I have a story for you. But the story requires a confession on my part. OK, here goes... I've been smoking again. For a couple of months. Sorry to disappoint, it is what it is, and there you have it. Anyway, this information is sort of vital to the story.

Saturday morning I woke up pretty early and made some coffee. Around 7 am I decided it would be nice to go downstairs to the courtyard and have a smoke with my coffee, I'm somewhat ashamed to say, it's my favorite smoke of the day. So I headed downstairs, and as I rounded the corner to the courtyard I heard voices. When I got out there, guess who was there? Cash, the weird guy who never remembers me, and 3 others.

They were all clearly on the wrong side of 7 am, as it was quite apparent they hadn't been to bed yet. Or if they had been to bed, they certainly hadn't been to sleep. (I really can't throw stones or cast aspersions about being on the wrong side of the early morning. I've totally been there. God knows I've been there. It's been a while, but you know, it happens.) It's worth noting that every time I see Cash, I'm fairly certain he's on the wrong side of the morning.

Anyway, one of the people with him was this girl, in a robe (I'm pretty sure it was the same robe I've seen Cash wearing) that barely fit her, straining as it was against her ginormous boobs. I couldn't help but stare at them. Seriously, they were the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my whole life. (I'm fairly certain they were also the biggest boobs Cash had ever seen in his whole life, given her state of undress in his robe and the fact that he was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, no shirt. And let me tell you, he should not be walking around shirtless in public.)

Clearly I did not avert my eyes quickly enough because somehow I caught her attention and she decided to come over to where I was sitting to visit. She sat down, as close to me as she possibly could without sitting on top of me, and proceeded to try and carry on a conversation. (I kept trying to look at her eyes to see if they were dilated, because I am convinced that Cash is a total coke-head.)

At some point she noticed my cup of coffee sitting on the picnic table. "Oooh, coffee!" she said. "I love coffee!" And with that she proceeds to pick up my cup of coffee and begin to drink it!

"Oh and it's a dark roast. I love dark roast!"

I was pretty much horrified. Here I am trying to enjoy my coffee and cigarette, mostly minding my own business, aside from the morbid curiosity with the size of this girl's boobs (I'm not exaggerating when I tell you they took up her whole upper body, from her shoulders down to her waist. And I'm pretty sure they were real!) and she comes and drinks my freaking coffee. The nerve.

I decided to make a hasty, yet still polite, exit. I briefly considered leaving the coffee for her and probably would have had it not been in one of K's cute mugs. And yes, I dumped out the coffee and put the mug in the dishwasher as soon as I got up to my apartment. All weekend long I kept thinking, I cannot believe that girl drank my coffee! Un-freaking-believable. Who does that?