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My good friend L offered a sympathetic ear over the weekend, as I threw myself around like a spoiled child wailing, "Why doesn't he like me????" (Perhaps a slight exaggeration.) When I had finally calmed down and was able to listen to rational advice (which might have not been until Monday afternoon) L said to me, "I know you. You will totally go out with him again. If that's the case, you need to let him know it's not ok to blow you off like that. Maybe you should send him an email?"
"But what should I say?" I whined. (This should surprise no one. I tend to whine.) Also, I'm lazy or really can't think straight when I'm upset or considering confronting someone with something unpleasant. So L pretty much wrote the email for me.
It went something like this: "Fluffy, fluffy pleasantness, something about what did you do last night, blah, blah, blah... Maybe we got our signals crossed or I misunderstood, but I thought we talked about doing something this weekend? I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything, I just want to see if it's early onset dementia. I did just turn 36 recently, so dementia is not out of the question."
And I sent it. I even got a reply right away! Which went something like this: "Yeah, we did talk about that. But I sent you an email on Friday letting you know I had Saturday free and you responded saying you were looking forward to a relaxing weekend, so I took it as you were just going to take it easy. I guess our communication wasn't so good. We definitely need to make it up though..."For the record, I never did receive the email he is speaking of. I did at some point on Friday email him that I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend, but I certainly didn't mean I didn't want to go out with him. So, yeah, communication was a big FAIL on both of our parts.This is why email, text, IM, etc. are all really crappy methods of communication. Especially when you are just getting to know each other. I'm totally guilty though, because there are times when I would so much rather email or text someone rather than call them. But emails get lost. Tone is misunderstood. Texts have character limits (and I am chatty).
Obviously, I could have saved myself (and you all) a whole lot of misery and "boys are stupid" and all that if I had just said what I meant in my email to J on Friday. Which was "So, are we going out or what?" And he could have saved us all a whole lot of misery and "boys are stupid" and all that if he had just picked up the phone. Lesson learned.
I spoke with J tonight. (On the phone!) We have plans for later this week. Not sure what night yet, but we have plans.
P.S. L also said something really simple today that I'm going to try to remember in all of my relationships. Stop jumping to conclusions and communicate when something isn't sitting right. Simple, right? But not always easy to remember.
This will be brief. Look at the time stamp on this. Yes, it's correct. What am I doing up so early, you ask? I've been up since 4:00 am, thanks to Earl.
My sweet boy, (yeah, right) Earl did everything he could to not let me sleep last night. Running around? Check. Playing in the closet? Check. Climbing all over me? Check. And last, but not least, for his grand finale, scratching at K's bathroom door so loud I could hear it from my bedroom? CHECK!
What is Earl doing now that I've given up? Sleeping quietly on the counter.
I swear it's a conspiracy.
After being in such a crabby mood all weekend, sulking around for two days over a stupid boy, I decided tonight that I should try to remember all of the things that I am grateful for. Thank you, Oprah!
I am grateful for the fact that even though Earl is not a lap kitty, when he's sleeping close to me he still has to be touching me somehow, someway, usually with his paws. It is truly one of the sweetest things ever. He is so crazy (and somewhat bratty) most of the day, but when he slows down he is just a big baby who loves his mama.
As for Meredith, I'm grateful for how she eagerly takes her place either snuggled up right next to me, or balancing on my hip, as soon as I lie down to go to sleep at night. (Can you tell I took a nap with my kitties today?)
Gratitude does not even begin to describe how I feel about the Weight Watchers Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sundae. Those things are like a little plastic cup full of heaven all for only 3 points!
I'm grateful to have a best friend like N, who has known me since I was a little kid. She has seen me in all of my glory and at my very worst. I love that we can sit around and talk for hours, sometimes talking about how amazing it is that we can talk about nothing at all. She is Laverne to my Shirley; Karen to my Grace; and I love her! Of course, I'm grateful for all of my friends and family, but you know, I had to show my girl N some love.
Today, especially, I'm grateful for mimosas. Mimosas could be one of the most perfect drinks ever. Champagne and orange juice, you just can't go wrong. And apparently on Sunday's at Mo's you can get bottomless mimosas for $9.50! Who knew? My headache is not so grateful for the mimosas, but I remain thankful anyway.
Lastly, I'm grateful for C & S with whom I lost touch for too long, but luckily through the wonders of technology we've reconnected. Sorry that this turned all "Oscar acceptance speech", but at least I'm not thanking the little people. Oh! I think I hear the orchestra playing me off....
Still have not heard a peep from J. Whatever. I am a very busy girl and I cannot be bothered with stupid boys.
However, today, if it were appropriate to be completely honest with my Facebook status updates, here's what you would have read.
8:04 am- Moo woke up and checked her phone. Still nothing.
8:34 am- Moo wonders "Is it mean to de-friend someone you just friended?" Yes, J, I'm looking at you.
12:37 pm- Moo is at the gym wondering why boys are so very stupid.
2:13 pm- Moo is again checking her cell phone and is tempted to call the operator and ask them to call to check the line.
3:13 pm- Moo is now online again looking for a new boy. (Yes, Chas [blech, what the hell kind of name is that?] I got your first email. No, I will not be responding. Perhaps you have not read my Rules for Internet Dating?)
4:52 pm- Moo gives up. Is now planning on spending the evening in her pajamas watching an America's Next Top Model Marathon on Bravo.
I'm kind of crabby today. It's been 4 days since my date with J, and I've barely heard from him. I say barely because we spoke on Tuesday (he called me, then I called him back later), and he's emailed me a couple of times (about Facebook for God's sake), but hasn't made contact since I replied to an email of his this morning.
I rue the day I ever told him about Facebook. I'm on there throughout the day at work (I know, but they don't seem to mind) and every time I saw that he was online (And not emailing me! The nerve!) it was like a slap in the face.
When we spoke on Tuesday, we had tentatively made plans for this weekend. J wasn't sure which night he would have his daughter and I said Saturday would work better for me. Since then? Nothing. Except for stupid questions about Facebook. Lame.
What is it about a guy that can turn a relatively well-adjusted girl like myself into a compulsive cell phone/Facebook/email checker? Seriously! When I don't have a man in my life I'm totally fine. I don't worry about who's calling, who's emailing, blah, blah, blah. Throw a guy into the mix? And I'm all "Why isn't he calling? Where is he? Is he out with Tragic B?" Ugh.
And I can't help but second guess myself. You know? I think about the "number" conversation we had the other night and wonder "Did that turn him off?" Or how I told him that I had a date on Wednesday night, but I wasn't too interested in going. (Which, by the way, I didn't mean it in a "You are the love of my life now, J. I shall never date another." kind of way. I meant it in a "It's freaking Wednesday, who wants to go out with a guy, who quite frankly, looks kind of sweaty in his photos?" kind of way.) But of course, I think J took it to be the former. Plus! The guy who looked kind of sweaty in his photos? Never even called me for our date. How's that for karma?
So here I sit, on a Friday night, trying to decide between cleaning my house (thrilling!) or catching up on my reading (slightly more thrilling!). Wondering why it is I can't seem to make it past that increasingly crucial second date. What the hell?
P.S. I think the cleaning is going to win out. That way I can blast angry music and scrub out my aggression. Hee hee.
I had my date with J the other night. We went to a bar in his neck of the woods. It was so good to see him again. Yes, he's as cute as I thought he was. He still seems fairly normal. I'm almost certain that he's not an axe murderer or con-man. Just a regular guy. An awfully cute one at that.
As the evening wore on and the drinks loosened us up, inevitably, our conversation turned to s-e-x. I was reminded of a story from my past that I shared with J. Why I shared it, God only knows, but I did.
Many years ago (good lord, 16 years ago to be exact!), I was dating K. I had chased after K for almost a year. We worked together, and from the moment I met him I was in lust (which looking back on it is so weird, seriously, K is not a guy one would lust after). After workin' it for months, finally, I got my man. K was 6 years older than me, which, if you're doing the math means I was 20 and he was 26. He seemed so old and worldly at the time.
We had been dating a few months when one night we had "the conversation". You know the one. The one where you stupidly disclose how many partners you've had. A conversation no woman should have with any man under any circumstances other than in the broadest of terms. "Are you a virgin?" "No." "Any diseases I should know about?" "No." "OK." I mean, in my opinion, this is as much conversation as one should have on this topic.
But back then I did not know this. I was 20 for God's sake. So when K asked, I answered. And I lied. (I brought the number down. I'd had an early start and I at least knew enough to lie.) Well, apparently I didn't bring the number down quite enough for K's liking. The conversation did not go well. I couldn't for the life of me understand why he was so mad. I mean all of it had happened long before I had ever met K. And, I reasoned, the past had made me the woman (ha! at 20?) I was and didn't that mean it was ok?
Apparently not.
K and I survived that night. But we didn't last too much longer. The lesson I learned that night has stayed with me until this day. Unfortunately though, by sharing that story with J I sort of opened a whole new can of worms.
As we were leaving the bar the other night, J asked me "the question". It seems that by sharing the K story I had piqued his curiosity. I was like a deer caught in headlights. I froze. Not knowing what to do, I told him. The truth. (Which you will never get out of me here, I'd like to keep some semblance of privacy, sort of. I think up until now only N knew the real truth.) And, honestly, J seemed ok with it. But of course, now I'm second guessing myself.
So, I'm throwing it out to all 4 of you who read this. Do you tell? And if you do, do you tell the truth? Or do you fudge your number?
J is finally back in town after a couple of weeks in Central America. We have a date tonight and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm all nervous. Having one date, then waiting two weeks for the next date, it's almost like starting at the first date all over again. What will we talk about? Will he find me interesting? Will I find him interesting? Is he as cute as I remember him to be?
I really like J, despite his morbid fascination with Tragic B and her Epic Quest for One Last Love. (I really ought to trademark that.) He's cute (if my memory serves me correctly) and witty, and seems so far to be a fairly normal guy (again, morbid fascination aside).
I mean, aren't we all kind of weird? Those of you who know me, even a little bit, know that I have my own idiosyncracies. For example:
- I prefer to use a certain set of towels for my shower. To the extent that I might put off showering if those towels are in the dryer, even though I have several other completely acceptable sets of towels to use.
- I am an early riser, but so not a morning person.
- I love Rice-A-Roni. It's the San Francisco Treat.
Anyway, I spoke with J this morning, and apparently he has not heard from Tragic B in a while. Hopefully we'll have a good time tonight and once he gets a second look at Healthy So Not Tragic (not even close) Moo, Tragic B will be but a distant memory.
