I Am a Total Bad Girl (Yeah, Right)

Sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I'm sure you've all been on pins and needles waiting. (Right?) Let me start by saying, for those of you who were wondering about the retreat, it was good. I still have a job and we've collectively decided to hit the "Reset" button and being anew. (Not sure if that can really happen in a workplace, but I'm taking a chance.) I've struggled with wanting to write something about the retreat, but truly, it was so good, it'd be boring to write about. So, I'm going to try something else.

Last year when N was preparing to move all the way across the country, she invited me up to L.A. to go through her books. (One of the many things N and I share is a love of books.) I picked through them all, taking the ones I wanted (and the ones that were mine that I wanted back). In the end, there were so many that I couldn't possibly schlep them home with me on the train. So N kindly boxed them up for me and sent them UPS. One of the books that either I picked or N just threw in was this "Be a Bad Girl" journal. I thought since I can't seem to come up with anything interesting to write about I'd do one of the exercises in the journal.

Help me find my inner bad girl?

As an aside, before I attempt to discover my inner bad girl, I have to tell you something about the 2 boxes of books I received at my doorstep last year. Thinking I already knew what was in them, I let them sit for a good few days before I actually opened them up. In one was a very sweet note from N saying how much she loved me and would miss me. I cried. In the other box, right on top, was a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" with a note taped to the front cover which said "I know you hate me, but read me!!! I noticed you left this one out..." She's a sneaky one, that N.

Anyway, back to discovering my inner bad girl through journaling. Here's the exercise; I'm supposed to try and lose my good girl virginity (Oh, if they only knew...) by listing and describing which of the following I've done:

1. Used an alias? Nah, not my style. I don't think quickly enough on my feet to come up with an alias. Best alias ever? Anastasia Beaverhausen.
2. Acted on a wild impulse? How do you think I ended up in Tahoe? My move to Tahoe was by no means planned beyond, "Hey, S, let's move to Tahoe." Eight years later...
3. Ignored the rules? Again, not really my style. I am a total rules follower. I always cross at the intersection, only with the light (I've been hit, people.) I brush my teeth twice a day (mostly). I try not to talk on my cell phone in elevators. (Oh! Coming home from Boston I totally forgot to turn off my cell phone. I was appalled at my flagrant, even if accidental, disregard for that rule. For all I know, I could've brought that plane down!) You get the picture, I'm a rules follower. Now, as I said before, if your asking about those lame dating rules. Those I do not follow. And perhaps this is why I'm still single.
4. Jaywalked? Good lord, no. See above.
5. Indulged my desires? Who hasn't? Check.
6. Challenged an authority figure? Why do you think my Dad did the dance of anger? Check.
7. Bought expensive, impractical shoes? No, but I did just spend an awful lot of money on bras. I cannot even admit here how much it was. It was a lot. (But! They are the foundation garment! And, the store I bought them from will resize them for free when the band gets stretched out. Plus! One of them is GORGEOUS.)
8. Said "no!!"? Totally. Many times. Check. Check.
9. Called in sick and gone to the beach? Yes, once when I still lived in Tahoe. And because I am such a rules follower, I was too guilty to enjoy the day off. Damn, me. Check.
10. Shopped shamelessly? See #7. Check.
11. Mastered creative parking? Yes, and every time I have, I've gotten a parking ticket. Check.
12. Practiced random acts of exhibitionism? Yes, and I have the topless photos (with a boa!) to prove it. Check.
13. Borrowed my roommates clothes? Well, given he's a man, no. But previous roommates? Hell yeah! That's a given. You don't have to be a bad girl to borrow your roommate's clothes. Check.
14. Stolen kisses? How does one steal a kiss? So, I guess not. I have been known to get drunk and make out in public.
15. Had casual sex? Maybe, once or twice. Perhaps.
16. Had black-tie sex? I'm not even sure what the eff black tie sex is? Is it sex after a formal event? Formal sex? Was I tied up with a black tie? I don't know.
17. Been a social stalker? Who me? I may have stalked a person or two on Facebook. What of it?
18. Accumulated vices? All manner. Check.
19. Made crank calls? Not since I was in middle school. But, check.
20. Gotten booty-called? Yes. And I answered. Again, what of it?
21. Worn stop-traffic sexy clothes? Probably not. I don't think I could pull it off. I am many things, some may say sexy, but I don't think stop-traffic sexy clothes are in my bad girl future.
22. Made out at work? Embarrassingly, yes. It was at Harrah's. And those of you who know me from there, don't bother asking, 'cause I'll never tell.
23. Worn invisible underwear? Does this mean go commando? If so, yes, all the time. I am wearing invisible underwear right now. Check.
24. Been a bad influence on friends? Probably. No specific instance comes to mind...
25. Danced naked in front of a mirror? Yeah, but only if I'm home alone. Hee hee. Check.